by Michael D. Anestis, M.S.
Today marks the second anniversary of my marriage to Joye. PBB is hardly the forum for me to write extensively about how incredibly happy this moment makes me, but the occasion has relevance nonetheless. One of my goals for today is to be mindful of our celebration. I want to focus entirely on the moment, on the time I am spending with my wife and on what today makes us feel. This is not to say that I do not want to reflect upon all of the wonderful memories from the past two years, but rather, that I want to emphasize being here with Joye and not get lost in my own thoughts and miss the moment in front of me. All of that being said, I thought it might be a useful endeavor to walk you through a few quick mindfulness exercises that you can use to bring focus to your own day and minimize the impact of any negative experiences.
Before I get started, let me first recommend that you consult our prior articles on mindfulness as well as other resources such as Jonathan Kaplan's blog, Urban Mindfulness. This is especially important if this is your first introduction to the topic. Either way, a quick and dirty description of mindfulness would be as follows:
A non-judgmental focus on the moment, without consideration of the past or the present, without an effort to change your experiences, and without any evaluation of your ability to maintain this state of mind.So, put simply, when you are being mindful, you are actively aware of what is going on in front of you. You are not replaying a past conversation as you speak with a loved one. You are not thinking about past experiences as you listen to a song. You are not contemplating your emotions as you eat your breakfast. You are not talking on your cell phone as you drive. You are simply doing one thing and giving that activity all of your attention. As you attempt to do this, you will no doubt notice how difficult it is to maintain. Fear not though. Mindfulness involves a lack of judgment for a reason - it is very hard to do! When you notice your mind wandering away from the task at hand, simply note that this has happened and point your attention back toward your intended focus. Repeat that as many times as necessary and know that there is no way to fail this task.
Mindfulness Exercise #1 - Mindfulness to breath
Although not the most exciting mindfulness exercise, this one is always available in a pinch and, as such, should be practiced repeatedly. Your goal is to simply focus on your own breathing. Observe and describe your breath. Follow your breath all the way into your lungs. Notice all of the sensations you feel as your breath travels with each inhale and exhale. What does this feel like? Is each breath the same? Notice the differences between breathing with your nose and with your mouth. Take deep, slow breaths, almost as if you are savoring the air. There is no rush here. Some people choose to count their breaths, counting "1" with the first cycle of inhale and exhale and increasing in number until their mind wanders. Once your mind wanders, start over again at "1." If you are anything like me, you might notice that it is a struggle to even get to "2" without thinking about something other than your breath. That is okay, however. You do not get a prize for counting to "10" and you do not fail if you cannot get past "1." The value is in the sustained attempt to accomplish the task. As you do this, you will notice that whatever intense emotions you might have been feeling are becoming less intense. This is because, when we do not think in ways that sustain our negative emotions, they naturally run their course. By shifting our focus to something neutral - our breath - we are preventing ourselves from ruminating and allowing our emotions to subside.
Mindfulness Exercise #2 - Mindful eating
This exercise can be a bit more fun that mindful breathing. Many individuals, particularly those who struggle with binge eating, barely pay any attention as they eat. We essentially inhale our food and barely notice all of the sensations that go along with eating. Mindful eating seeks to slow you down and enhance your eating experience. Here again, the word "savor" is a big deal. Pick an item of food - perhaps a slice of apple. Take one bite. As you do, notice the different textures. Is the slice fresh? Is it juicy? Is it chewy? Do not swallow immediately. Notice if the flavor changes as you continue to chew. Do you notice the flavor more in one area? What else do you notice? Savor each bite as long as possible, repeating this process each time you take your next bite. If you struggle with the food you chose, feel free to try it again or to try a different food. Again, however, as you engage in this task, bring all of your attention to the task itself. Do not think about how the food reminds you of another time or another person. Simply notice the food itself and the sensations of eating.
Mindfulness Exercise #3 - Mindful imagery
The third and final mindfulness exercise I would like to briefly describe is one that I utilized quite often in one of my experiences as a dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) group co-leader. The task is a little bit different than the others, but it is the one that I have enjoyed the most. Choose a song to listen to. Before you press play, however, think of an image you would like to focus on during the song. For instance, you might envision a calm beach, your partner's face, or your pet looking up at you in admiration. Once you press play, I want you to attempt to maintain your focus on the image you chose before the song began. The reason for this is quite simple. Very rarely in life do we practice mindfulness in a vacuum. The world is full of sensory experiences that call for our attention and then subsequently dictate where we place our focus. By playing a song and then actively focusing on something else, you are building up your ability to decide what you will focus on and when you will do so. Songs, quite often, cause us to have strong emotional responses, so maintaining your focus on something unrelated to the music can be quite difficult. Do not worry if you struggle in this task. Remember, the very act of trying is at the core of mindfulness. Simply bring your mind back to the task and try again. In time, this will become easier. When it does, you will suddenly realize one day that, when something upsets you, you are able to take a step back, notice what you are thinking and feeling, and select a healthy and effective response.
Your thoughts and experiences
In the past, when I have described various mindfulness exercises, I have asked readers to share other exercises in the comment section and today is no exception on that front. The bottom line is, nobody has the exact same response to each mindfulness exercise and the more options you have, the more likely you are to find an approach with which you connect. So, if you have taught or practiced a mindfulness exercise not discussed above and would like to share it, please do. Alternatively, if you have struggled with mindfulness, please share your difficulties with us. Hopefully either me, Joye, or another reader will have a helpful tip that aids you in your quest to control your attention and stay focused on the present moment.
If you would like to read more about mindfulness, we recommend the following resources, all of which are available through our online store:
Books
Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life
Mindfulness for Beginners
The Miracle of Mindfulness
Guided Mindfulness Meditation
Happiness: Essential Mindfulness Practices
DVD
Mindfulness & Meditation - Stress Reduction / Mindful Parenting
This One Moment: Skills for Everyday Mindfulness
Mindfulness, Self, & Contact with the Present Moment (Act in Action)
Mike Anestis is a doctoral candidate in the clinical psychology department at Florida State University
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